I kind of feel guilty for adding to any of the above comments, since they were wonderful replies, but I just want to add a couple of quick thoughts:

-When you are doing any of those really supportive things, try really hard not to be condescending in any way. I think when caregivers are constantly being supportive, sometimes they get frustrated. Many people with BPD are hypersensitive and are quick to want to withdraw again or get angry or defensive and shrink back from the care they are being given.

-And on the same note, please try to find someone else to talk with about your own feelings. You need to vent, as it is not an easy job. And at times you may start felling a little resentment, even if you don't realize that.

-Having said that, I personally like it when my husband shows his own vulnerabilities about other issues in his life. It make me feel needed and it helps me to see that it is normal for everyone to have insecure times. I like it when the focus shifts off of me for a while. I don't want it always to be about ME- it's overwhelming and a lot of pressure and adds to my guilt.

Oh, I don't know what I am talking about. You know what, just love and care and do the best that you can can. And make sure that you take care of YOURSELF, because we all know that it's one of the best things we can do for other people in our lives. (I don't know how to do that personally right now, but I HAVE heard that it's a good thing to do