Hello there. I can recommend a very good book, if you like to read/research things.
Understanding the Borderline Mother [Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship] by Christine Ann Lawson, was very helpful to me in realizing that I am at least a 3rd generation borderline, maybe more but I don't know much about my relatives beyond grandparents.

I took information from this book and the book Get Me Out of Here by Rachel Rieland and asked my psychotherapist of the diagnosis fit me. She readily agreed and had thought so for a while. She doesn't focus on diagnoses, and doesn't want her patients to get hung up on diagnoses. What's happening now and what it's about is what we focus on and that means looking back to where things orginated and exploring my perspectives to see if there is more there than what seems to be there.

It is a lot to deal with on your own. I regret that I didn't have a therapist to help me with my own parents. I hope you will consider letting someone help you explore this.