My daughter just put a picture of her on Face Book of her 2year old BD party. Only to well to remind me of the past and what I threw away. I have hurt everybody around me at some point in their lives. All to clear that I have been a miserable person to the ones I love. I cant go back and un do what I have done in the past. But there is no forgiveness. None. If I get teary around my children they tell me to stop, to not get upset around them. Is that cold hearted, or do they worry I will drag them down to. I find myself apologising when I call someone for having disturbed them. I dont want to bother folks because I suck the life out of everyone around me. My mother told me I needed a dog. I agree but not rigt now . Just adds to more to take care of. So much indecision in my head. I need a break