the best book that I know of about BPD is this one:

Sometimes I Act Crazy by Jerold Kreisman, MD and Hal Straus

the authors of I Hate You, Don't Leave Me. If you ask me, this book should have been written first, and I Hate You...later. It is much easier to read and easier to understand, and helps you learn how to live with BPD. This book, complete with resources, will help you more than you know. Before being diagnosed with DID, I was diagnosed with a whole litany of dxs that ranged from mild depression (if it was mild, I would hate to see what severe is), to bipolar, to schizoaffective, to BPD, and then finally DID. I was even diagnosed as DDNOS...even though my psychiatrist doesn't know my alters and what happens to me when I really wig out. So, after my dismay with the first BPD book, which I thought just like the rest of you thought, that I was pathological and doomed to die in some psych ward in some mental institution somewhere. I felt no hope at all. This book helped me some during the time I was seeing my psychiatrist, and before I took all the tests and went to the hospital to really be treated, only to be told I had DID...which I found was a kind of relief after reading I Hate You...

I hope you find this other book a better read for you...and I hope you find some information in there that you can use. I did, and some of it I still relate to...I think if we look hard enough, we can see ourselves in virtually everything we read about psychological stuff...IMHO