ok this is just my opinin from dealing with my ex's on and off again drug habit for over 10 years
He needs to go through it alone.....if he can go through it alone than he has a fighting chance.
if he has your support you to lean on chances are he will keep repeating everything. it needs to be hard he needs to feel how hard it is to remind him never to go back to where he was.
when i got sober i had to do things the hard way i personally did it on my own no meeting but i knew what i needed to do since i have been thru treatments many times before,....and chances for junkies to stay clean are slim to none.
So if it was easy for me i prob would be out there right now...probly tonite...
i know you love him, and i love(d) my ex he was my soulmate, but he chose the drugs over me and my son, and guilted me and blamed me. then he always gets clean down the road, than something happens that doesn't go his way blames me than does it all over again.
he can find friends and help in a sponser or other people...not to someone who he has romantic or close ties too. we treat our loved ones differently and act towards them differently. when you clean up all these emotions come out and unstable and we say and act before we think and it just gets too complicated.
really he is better off taking a break from you, especially if you have kids. i am not saying hhe is a bad person if i was i would be a hypocrit, i am no better than anyone.
please let him go through this alone, if he wants to call everyone in awhile keep it short because things can be said and it can go bad in a sec. he needs to go through more than detox if he has the money if not than serious 3 meetings a day you two need time apart him to heal and you to accept. and yes please go to alanon it will benefit if you want to keep this relationship up.