You have all be so kind and generous with your words and time. Thank you so much. I told my wife tonight that the doc said I should be in treatment. She said do it. I am still reluctant and will wait out the weekend. If the intrusive suicidal thinking resumes, then I will do it. I am so tired. It is all so worthless from these places. It seems like after you have been through this so many times and know it is just going to happen over and over again, that it is not worth the effort. What keeps me from doing the deed is the disaster it causes to others. It leaves the world with 10 times more troubles than it takes away. That is a horrible thing to do to another person, people you love and love you. So I will persist and see this through.

<font color=blue>[b] Wherever you go, there you are[b]<font color=blue>