Hello, GothGeisha. Do you anticipate at some point you will be able to get better without professional help? You speak of an "unfavorable" diagnosis. Do you have a favorable one(s) in mind? Could it be you fear being diagnosed with a mental illness as opposed to a particular one?
I think everyone has some fear of the unknown. To allow fear to inhibit your ability to make decisions that benefit you is another matter. Talking to a professional about your fears will take courage. Do you think you are worthy of a life with less fear?
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