The 2 books that helped me see myself and understand a bit about the diagnosis are
Get Me Out of Here by Rachel Rieland and
Understanding the Borderline Mother (Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship) by Christine Ann Lawson--this one helped me see that in my family BPD is generational and I think I am a 3rd (at least) generation BPD. Not that it is genetic, but developmental and a dysfunctional mother passes the dysfunction along.

I was also very fortunate that my therapist, who I chose because she is an analyst, also just happened to be experienced with BPD. So she really 'gets' it.