This is day one of stopping SI forever. It's not the first time I've tried to stop, so this time I know I need a plan. I'll admit, it's pretty hard to be positive about it sometimes but I need to stop. It's just making things worse now. So here's my idea.

It's taken me nearly 3 years to figure out I can't just stop SI without replacing it with something else. So, I'm restarting my journal and focusing on songwriting as much as I used to. SI made those things not seem important anymore, but they are. I'll also be exercising more, partly because of several martial arts tournaments and tryouts coming up, but it helps with SI urges too. This time I have a best friend that knows, and understands (from personal experience) that I could also talk to. Last but nowhere near least, music. Playing it, writing it, listening to it. I can't forget how much it helps me. I'm going to do anything I can think of or have previously done to avoid SI. If those things don't work, I'll think of something else.

I had a similar plan last year and stopped for 6 months, until alot of really really tough things came up and it seemed like my only option. This time I'll make sure I don't SI, no matter what. No more scars, no more overdosing, I'm done with this.

I'll be honest, there's still a part of me that doesn't want to stop. Sometimes I wonder why I want to, but it's not a matter of wanting to. I have to do this. It's not going to be easy. I regret starting, and I'll probably regret stopping at least once. But it just makes things worse over time. I'm determined to get to that point where I don't even think about it anymore.

So...who's with me?

Like I said, music is important in this. Here's a song that's helping right now: