Squiggle,

I have physical contact with my T. He holds my hand for comfort, or connection, or grounding (depending on what's going on) and we always hug at the end of session. I feel so comfortable and safe with the contact we have, and I'm grateful to be able to feel that way.

When I started therapy, I was TERRIFIED of him touching me. I had been abused (sexually) by a minister growing up, and it felt too much like that relationship. He never even got out of his chair to walk over to his desk without warning me, describing the route he would take, etc. He took such good care of me.

I finally asked him how he felt about physical contact with clients, because I wanted to MAKE SURE I would never be touched. He said that in some cases, physical contact can be a really important part of the healing. He described his training to me, and they ways that physical contact was used at the agency where he trained. I was like "DO NOT EVER TOUCH ME" and I knew he wouldn't.

It's a LONG story, but the short version is that I was having a horrible panic attack (my first ever) during a session, and I thought I was going to die. The world was spinning and I couldn't find my way back. T asked if I wanted to reach across the room and just touch fingertips. I did, because I was so desperate. And the world stopped spinning. It was like T's finger made everything STOP. I was able to work on breathing and get grounded. I felt connected to T and his safety and power.

It's years later now, and I'm very comfortable holding his hand or hugging. It's the safest and most comforting feeling in the world, actually.

Squiggle, if you don't want to come out and ask for a hug, could you ask her what her policy is on touch with clients? That's what I asked my T (although for the opposite reason) and it felt like a safe way to bring it up.

Let us know what happens, ok??