Hhi Lex, Pretty hard to therap yerself when yer triggered and not thinking clearly. Maybe it's a good time for a bit of pro help. huh? No time frame on healing, darn it. the only good news is it will keep moving and change....... hopefully to become an even stoner you than you were before.
I'm so sorry you have all those horrible memories to deal with... it just sucks. Period end. I have confidence that you will move through to a better place. Go on and get some one on one support ok? You deserve it, and I think it would help you fine a more comfortable perspective on your stuff. Not so sharp and hurtful and black and white. Ya know?