Thank you to everyone for your kind posts. This has been a particularly harrowing experience for me as it was triggered by a *friend* taking my very personal experiences and posting them in a forum like this one as her own. As I read my story, with her name, I not only felt violated again, I felt like I'd been robbed. We dont often think of our memories as "precious" but that is how I felt, that something very precious had been taken away from me. I am still reeling from all of that.

I am coming to the place where I am going to have to tell my T about this stuff. I am not sure how I'm going to get through that. I've never said the words before, and in fact, there are certain words that I cannot say. Every time I try to say them, practicing in the bathroom before the mirror, I end up throwing up. I don't know how I'm going to make it through this.