((((Improving)))) It may sound strange, but one of the most healing things I had to do during that time frame was to mourn the loss. I had to go through the emotions and allow myself to honestly feel the depth of the pain.

It was strange because my college T told me "Would it kill you to just go into your room and lock the door and allow yourself to feel 'outloud' what you are stuffing away inside?"

I thought to myself "I suppose it could!!" and so I actually took him up on it because the pain was so great that I thought it would be the end of me - and that was fine at the time. Soooo.......

What ended up happening was that the pain all came out. It was very hard. It was very painful. But I just let it all come through. I cried until there was nothing left to cry out.

Strangely, the next morning when I woke up I had such a strong sensation of freedom. It was amazing to feel the lightness inside. And strangely, I felt free of her!!