I was never as afraid in combat as I am of my first scheduled visit to a mental health clinic for ptsd evaluation. I've skipped the previous 2 appointments (fortunately I could blame weather), but this one is coming up and I'm trying to keep the appointment.

People tell me that this could be the beginning of recovery, but the feeling I have in my bones is that this will be the beginning of the end, that the visit will be the first of many that will wreck my last shred of sanity and ruin the few remaining relationships that I have. The scheduled visit has me more afraid than I was at any time in combat.

Pray for me