I feel your pain, something similiar happened to me. You have every right to be hurt, you were honest to her and she wasn't honest with you. For me, I had to realize my strong feelings for Mark was a part of my addictive personality, that I was actually addicted to him. It must be hard knowing she is getting married. You may have thought one day you were going to marry her. You write very well, ever thought about keeping a journal to track how you are doing? You said talking to friends helps a little, a little is better than nothing!! They must be close friends if it helps, that's one thing you have on your side close friends. You also mentioned praying God loves that you talk to Him about it, you can pour your heart out to Him. Ever try a support group? Go to dbsalliance.org for one near you. Keep writing to us how you hold up, we care about you.