Hi, thanks everybody for replying and for your condolences.
I am in therapy, I signed right back up a day or two after the break up because (Thank God) I had the foresight to know I would not be able to do this on my own. I really enjoy talking to my new therapist; she's sweet, funny, non-judgmental and gives great advice. It does kind of stress me out that I can only talk to her for an hour a week. I feel so great and hopeful after the session, but a day later I start feeling the anxiety and depression creeping back. She wants to start me on EMDR. She really thinks it will help.
Pachyderm: Exactly. I used to think that because I had the strength and will to get better that I could give him that strength and will, as well. However, after awhile I actually started to feel like he was dragging me into his misery hole. I heard myself speaking like him about how hopeless the future was and how I didn't have any friends, when initially all I did was speak encouragingly and optimistically about my future and his own. My therapist pointed out that some people just don't want to get better yet. I couldn't help him until he decided he wanted that for himself, and it seemed like he had a bad case of 'misery loves company'.
It's kind of weird, I've already made a lot of improvement in the past 1.5 months since the relationship ended. I hadn't made much progress in that year and a half...I wonder if it's toxicity was holding me back and now I can move forward.