I'm sorry you don't feel pretty and clean and nice like I'm sure you are! You have to keep telling yourself that you are ...even though you don't really believe it.. you have to keep saying it (but if you keep saying you are not clean, that is what your brain will think and remember and that isn't good, is it?) You ARE clean and nice Lili (I'm not going to call you Lilith because you are not that! OK?) I like "Lili " nice and pure ((((Lili)))) that's what you are!