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I didn't know about the dissociation until much later in life, even though I suspected something. There was this constant changing of well, external things like clothing to internals like child voices and other behaviours. Being a good mom was the most important to me and still is.
Later, I was comforted by a therapist who made mention of the fact that dissociated parents are some of the best because they are playful! Thankfully, though, there was a degree of co-consciousness and we were able to also put a meal on the table as an adult and clean, albeit different alters assigned to these tasks. My outer children were the highest priority.
I am not sure if I would have made it through all the school years without the Christian community helping me though. Being the renaissance person I was sometimes described being it was helpful to have the help of those outsiders who helped me focus on my children's educational needs. I was definately being carried by a force greater than myself, thankfully.
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“Science without religion is lame.
Religion without science is blind.”
Albert Einstein
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