I have to wonder about Borderline Personality Disorder. It's the intensity of the anxiety and despair and the chronicity of it that makes me wonder. I've had a lot of diagnoses over the decades - depression, anxiety, PTSD, obsessive-compulsive disorder, ADD, and BPD was suggested as a possibility once or twice. It could explain the extreme level of distress without a clear precipitant. But I don't feel angry at people, just at myself. I don't know, and it probably doesn't matter. These symptoms overlap a lot of diagnoses. What matters is once again, trying to develop willingness to do the things I can to soothe myself in healthy ways, not be socially isolated, and be interested in other people, in order to get out of my self-absorption. It's hard, and I want things to be easy.