Had a therapy appointment today. Rescheduled for Friday. Had a doctor's appointment for tomorrow. Rescheduled for next week. Got a call from the lawyer. Let it go to voice mail.

I had kind of given myself permission not to worry during the holidays. Now the holidays are over and I feel anxious, scared, overwhelmed and hopeless. My life is a disaster. I want to be able to hide in my apartment and never come out. World won't let me.

Trying to replace my negative thoughts with "positive" ones. Instead of "I want to die", I'm trying to think "I want to live". Been repeating the negative version for years. Not so easy to change my thinking.

Crap. Should have gone to therapy today.