((((((improving))))))

I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time now. Only you know what route to go so that you can feel better. It doesn't seem like the time to say goodbye to your T and start with another, but maybe that's what you need to do right now. Or maybe you need to drag yourself in to see your T and just be honest about where you are right now.

I'm glad that it's not the end for you and your partner. You said you don't have a map for what to do. Then, just let things evolve and the answers will come to you. Please be nice to yourself and I wish you happier times soon!!