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Jan 03, 2011, 02:23 PM
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Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 5,518
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(((Whenwillitend))) - I know how you feel.
My ex-husband was a Chicago fireman. Back in 1981 I vividly remember being at work and hearing breaking news that two fireman had been killed in a high rise fire. My husband was at work, it was his shift, and it was his station/truck that responded to that fire. My heart was in my throat. I couldn't call the firehouse because they were still all out there. All I could do was wait and pray my husband had not been killed. When I found out who died, I was heartbroken because I knew both of them very well. 
Here's the story, in case you're interested...
http://www.fsi.illinois.edu/content/library/IFLODD/search/Firefighter.cfm?ID=218
I may not have known anyone who perished on 9/11, but I can certainly relate to their terror and pain. Like you, I can't help but feel horrible knowing their final moments were so terrifying.
I'm sure each and every one of those victims are grateful you remember them and care so deeply about how they died. It doesn't do anyone any good to fret too deeply over what they experienced - or place yourself in their shoes for any length of time. Those who have perished are no longer in need of saving, their terror has ended for them, and they are no longer in pain. It would be more beneficial to focus on sending warm thoughts and prayers to the friends and families of those victims. 
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