It is time for me to take some positive action regarding my life, I am sick of living hand to mouth, never having enough money to live, to be able to afford some ware to live, not being able to buy my son anything he wants without getting loans with extortionate interest rates ( you know the ones, borrow 100 and pay back 175) so at the end of the month I am moving back to London, for three main reasons:

1 My son lives there and I may have more chance of seeing him more often,

2 I will have access to mental health services on a daily basis if needed

3 I have just applied for a job down there, it is a job I used to do, one I enjoyed doing, and one I can do well, it will mean I have to interact with people on a daily basis, mostly in a confrontational atmosphere, but I can hold my own in that respect. It is not a job for the faint hearted.

I bet you are wondering what it is now, think of the worse job you can do, a job where it costs the customer money for a service they don’t want and definitely don’t need, every body hates them, enough clues lol, yes you got it right, it is a parking attendant.

The only downside I can see is the cost of living down in London is atrocious, I am going to be spending most of my money on private rent, at least I wont have to buy clothes as they are provided with the job, I get free travel so I will be saving money there, and a second job is not out of the question if needed. I will Probably do night time security, easy to do and little stress involved.

I know it might be to much to soon but I have to give it a try, my depression is not getting any better, my DID is getting worse, my anxiety is threw the roof, and the way I look at it I have nothing to lose, literally. After my last episode I really don’t have anything, the only thing left is my sanity and I am losing that, so I might as well go out with a bang or learn to live back in the real world.

I spoke to someone from the disability benefits office and told them I am going back to work ASAP, and was told if it don’t work out I can go back on me benefits, that’s not going to happen, it is ***** or bust for me this time, if I fail this time…………………………