Yea, I get what you mean! Though I don't study the exact same topic as you, I am in a University and sometimes the stuff I study gets my mind block like a craaaazy!!!

Well, what I do is that I try to evaluate/summarize the details into something I can understand, one sentence at a time, and link them in a mindmap. Sometimes it helps, though I'm not sure if it can be effective for you though.. It seems to work, and by doing so, allow me to see it in words that I can understand, and link it to everything else as well

I hope it can help you too... don't take it too hard on yourself that you are dumb/weak/lazy! We all have our achilles heel, and I guess this might be yours

Hang in there buddy!