Ohhh sweetie.I sooo understand all you wrote here.If nothing else at all.....maybe get a colorbook ....(I got a strawberry shortcake one...lol)and maybe a spiral art thingy...what the heck are those called?...been around long time...(wolf is ancient)...you put a paper in the tray and set a wheel type object on top the paper....each lil wheel makes different patterns as the cog wheel gets driven round by colored pen....spirograph?....Really lovely patterns and you can color them!!...Maybe simple little things like that will cause u to do more...?Sometimes we just go through these low cycles in our lives.But I know it will improve for you!...force yourself to do something different but tiny each day....I hope this helps a tiny....