dont beat yourself up i used to drink real bad & smoke crack & started smoking cigs when i was 30. i dont drink or smoke crack anymore but im prescribed klonopins which ive struggled here & there with taking them the way im suposed to. i finally with Gods help started taking them how i should until 2 months ago when i let abusive husband move back & it was just like i was poppin em like crazy until i ran out & had to buy some to get me thru. im bp2 & this was enuff to send me over the edge its like i went into manic mode which i havent had since i quit drinking 4 years ago the drinking relapses really sent me into manic crazy behavior anyways is there something goin on in ur life that sent u back to drinkin or just depression i dunno just some thoughts im not makin excuses but i KNOW for a fact 4 me that the tone of the environment im livin in & lettin abusive person back into my life sends me into a spin i like to workout read my Bible spend time with my kids IN THE CORRECT ENVIRON & just have peace in my life just rambling sorry Bless your heart for realizing u need help as theres so many people who just stay in the fog of whatever they do its not shameful to stumble everyone falls down just need help talking about issues cuz i guess using drugs & drinkin is always just a way of trying to cope & then it just makes everything worse