Even before The Golden Compass series, I thought of our beings as energy; and when we die we become scintillating particles that swirl, drift, combine with others, recombine, coalesce...or drift in the beauty that they are.

I can fall back on that when I am very lonely and very afraid: that we are intimately connected by virtue of this shared and separate nature.

I don't know if it's good or bad to see living things that way, but I am so confused by humans so much of the time, that it is a relief to think that they break down into essence when they die...and that it is the essence that is beautiful and profound. Otherwise, I cannot bear to think of death, either: I rush to this story I tell myself--one I hope is true, and that there is, after all, some evidence for....(gee...that always reassures me: the good old tape and measure.)