Quote:
Originally Posted by AAAAA
The problem is almost over. I can relate to what your parents are saying and to your feelings as well. I have many fights with my adult daughter when she comes home from school for holidays. She’s used to being her own master even though we support her. My husband, kids and I also stayed very briefly with my parents when he got out of the service while we were waiting for a house to open up for us. That was a horrible experience let me tell you. I had four kids and lived on my own for 10 years and suddenly I was treated like a teenager.
Your parents are forcing you to make adult, responsible choices. (FYI- totally with your father on the credit card thing. I’ve sent my payments out before I even got my statements and STILL got late fees. It can take several days for your payment to make it from the mail room in the basement to the proper computer terminal.) And while you are living in their home it is proper that you respect their wishes.
Very shortly you’ll be on your own, making your own mistakes and dealing with the consequences. As a result you will do the same things to your own children some day.
I am very sorry that you’ve overheard your father saying unkind things about you. Even though his medical condition may very well be the blame for this it is still painful to hear (stroke victims can lose that “filter” that tells them what is appropriate to say. My grandmother would tell random strangers that they were fat and would be so pretty if they would only lose the weight. We couldn’t bring her to a restaurant anymore. Or “that is the ugliest baby I have ever seen”.)
I frequently vent about our own adult daughter to my husband and vice versa. I love her dearly and wouldn’t change a hair on her head. But when she makes bad choices I get so frustrated. She’s smarter than that. It hurts me that she has to suffer negative consequences because she’s made a stupid decision.
Remember when you are on your own that just because you can walk through a snake pit a 100 times without getting bit that does not mean you never will. I am not suggesting you live your life in fear but DO make good decisions. Why put your safety in jeopardy when you don’t have to?
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My father has always been emotionally and verbally abusive, even before the stroke.
I've also never been late on a payment in my life. But I don't like being blamed for lying by putting false pressure when I'm not the one who does it (projection on my fathers part).
I appreciate you putting the effort to respond AAA but I don't think you understood what I was trying to say in my posts, probably because you haven't read my other posts as others have. Thanks anyways.