I don't think that the lying to put pressure is fair play either. I have relatives who do that and it's not kosher. part of it is their own anxiety that they can't handle, so they will do anything to make sure tha that anxiety is taken care of, and honesty plays no role in the issue. Yes, money issues are very triggering wth them. That said, I otherwise agreewith AAA about paying the bills, but I can see where the lying is very hurtful and nasty. You are trying to be a good daughter, and they are not acknowledging it as they should.
Can one say that in the case f your sister, that you sismply do not share the same interests? that way neither she not you are the bad guy. Neither can help it if they don't care for the same types of parties or friends, for example. At least then people won't assume she is taking care of all your needs, because she can't.