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We both work outside the home. He is the main bread winner, and this is a busy time for him. The plant shuts down twice a year for maintenance and in those weeks he’s never home. He worked 104 hours last week. A "normal" work week for him is 79 hours. (I complained when he hit 80 so he makes sure he doesn't hit that 80 hour mark) It isn’t even a money thing. When he works that much most of it goes to taxes anyway.
He (well we both) have an old fashion work ethic. People approach him at work with vague ideas and he puts them into practice. They love him because he has never said “we can’t do that.” His response is “I can do anything you want, it all boils down to how much time, money, and man power that are you willing to give me.”
The difference between the two of us is that I have boundaries. There are three people that they are supposed to call on the off shifts if there is a problem. He’s not even on that list. But he is the one they call because he can trouble shoot over the phone, or if it is a problem he hasn’t experienced before he’ll go in; even though we live 45 minutes from where he works. He takes it personally when equipment is down. His job description states he is responsible for the equipment from 6 am to 2 pm. But every morning he has to go to a meeting to explain down time for the entire 24 hour period. He has taken this responsibility over from his boss.
We argue endlessly about him taking a “promotion” to salary. Of COURSE they want him to be salary, they’d make a killing off of him. He’s not one of those people that says I get paid for 40 hours therefore I’m only working 40 hours. He works until the job is done. And there is ALWAYS something to do. He’d live there if he took that job. There have been times when something has broken down and they have put him up in a hotel down the street from the plant so he could be nearby. When I worked there as well and we worked the same shift, his boss offered to let me go back on the clock while hubby was fixing a major break. I refused so he sent someone to Walmart to pick me up the latest Sims expansion pack and Taco Bell to get me dinner so I wouldn’t get cranky while I waited.
These are thing that I admire about him. He’s a good man and an excellent husband and father. We just had our 25th wedding anniversary. Well briefly, I saw him for about ten minutes that day.
He’s already had those days were he was in so much pain that he would be literally crying in his sleep. The sciatica or attempting to regulate the pain from it, has severely limited his range of motion in his leg. It’s weaker, which is why he fell and re-injured himself. He is diabetic and has no feeling in the two smallest toes on that foot, the skin on that foot is cracked and dry from lack of circulation.
He’s seeing one of the best neurologists in the state, but the trouble is he down plays the amount of pain he is in. I will be unable to go to this appointment on Thursday because I will be working, but I guess I will have to go to the next one and insist something be done because WE are all suffering from the pain he is in.
A big part of my anger IS that fear FOR him. He doesn’t have the sense God gave a gnat sometimes. He knows that he’s short tempered lately and really does feel bad about it. When his pain level is high he kind of shuts himself off from us so that he doesn’t snap. But what kind of life is that?
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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