garden gal

I sure can relate to what you've been experiencing. I often fight myself, to do whatever, even if I don't want to. Because I "should". Don't let myself pull away from everyone. That doesn't make you feel any better though, I know.

Writing down the gist of thoughts and emotions does let me feel a little better. Talking with my T helps me put things into perspective for a little while. A nurse also comes weekly, to be sure that I am taking my meds & at the correct dosage. She is kind, and talks to me about her own experiences with major depression. She's been there too, which helps me feel a little better understood. (Rather than worrying that life can't ever get better.)

I've heard about EMDR too, it has been suggested a couple of times to me. Not sure that I'm ready to take that step, myself, but I do know a lady who it has helped through her depression and self-hate quite a bit. Her demeanor and general attitude about life has dramatically improved! It isn't easy though, and you have to be ready to take that step in life. (That's my perspective anyway. I'm not yet ready to accept the past, and that needs to be done before you can go forward any further.)

Gentle hugs to you ~ You're in my thoughts...