glad u shared, cherry. i hope this too shall pass. try to get busy to get your mind off it. that may help. i used to mop floors to stop thinkin' bout it and they were so clean you could eat off them!  fast forward 20 years sober and it takes a crowbar to get me up and mop! 
just reread your post and a PS, you don't have to set yourself up for using by thinking the "only way out is to use". you do have a choice. keep us posted...we care. 
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
|