Wait, it gets better...lol - my life is starting to look like a joke. Thisi s a soap opera.

A few weeks ago I went out with someone else as a trial - I mentioned it in General - J- the 2 of us have been friends (just friends) for longer than my serious boyfriend...it went very well, it was the first time I have felt good in a long long time...we seemed very happy....we were supposed to see each other again in a week.

NOT EVEN A PHONE CALL. - it has been 3 weeks...

The guy I mentioned above (M) has always been a close friend/serious boyfriend and knew about the date with (J) - and vice versa. J knew I had seen M.

The moving in was as friends with the possibility of more -

and J mentioned living together also...but not for a long while, at least a year...

I am not playing around with either of them - I don't do that - both of them are dating around, as was I.

I am usually traditional but ever since V (the one who caused the PTSD - and me to become a lump), I have become nuts. Confused. I am starting to wonder what the deal is with people. I am really not trusting anyone. I feel like I am being played...I don't want to juggle like this but no one is being straight with me. neither of them.

I have no idea what is going on.

M said : "I need to show some initiative..." huh?

J told me I was beautiful and he did not care I was sick and it was ok I had lost weight and he wanted to help me get through this.