On the one hand, I feel like my T is giving me a message that supports being patient and accepting of myself, and refers to my progress as being rapid. On the other hand, I feel like her expectations of what I can handle (in terms of being less dependent on her emotionally and in taking on a more active role in self-soothing and self-discipline) are being raised. While I'm sure it's not her intention, I feel un-accepted by this, and as though I have to "keep improving" in order to hold onto her approval. I'm just kind of having a hard time with this.

Also, on the one hand, I'm a very open & trusting person and for the most part this has been very characteristic of how I am as a client. Yet, there is also a definite part of me that keeps insisting on being vigilant for any sign of uncaring intentions.

I feel awful about this as I'm increasingly running out of logical reasons to not trust her, and in fact more reasons to believe she really cares, and yet I keep having these reactions of feeling rejected.

Just feeling vulnerable right now.