as soon as january arrived, my mood started to plummet. i had a nice break through christmas and new year's but when my husband had to go back to work, i knew the fun was over. back to the grind stone.

as my mood sinks, i start to feel weirder and weirder again. monday, i felt flat and down.. low and lazy.. as if the wind was knocked out of me. yesterday i started out feeling even lower than monday and by the end of the day felt like i had drifted miles away from myself and felt very detached - when my husband came home from work, he was again asking 'are you ok? you seem distant.. are you sure you're ok?'

last night my head started hurting and still hurts a little bit today. and that feeling of having other people, other voices in my head is back.

and during that break in december i had really started to feel normal. i started to believe that i'm ok and this is not nearly as big as it was seeming to be. i even contemplated backing out of therapy. because i'm 'fine'.

*sigh*