i just need to express my sadness/frustration/powerlessness regarding a friend. i drove 1200 miles to spend xxmas with her and family.hadn't seen them in 11 years. i used to sponsor her in AA. the day before i left she confessed to me that she had lied to me and was using oxy's for a year after she had told me she had quit. i spoke with her husband-my friend too-and he said come on we'll make it a good xmas in spite of her. i asked my friend to get immediate help. she was admitted to a hospital on my way up. she left there the next day against medical advice. she detoxed at home. i arrived while she was still detoxing. then 2 good days/for her thereafter. on the 3rd day she went out and got stumbling drunk and then came home. she's also an alcoholic.
her disease has progressed where there is only one thing left to occur-death, imho. i fear her using and drinking will destroy her but i am powerless to help her. it's so hard to see her do this. she has 9 children. all are emotionally scarred from her addictions. she seems to have lost her conscience and soul. she's totally out of control. she uses the medical community to get more dope, not to get well. she also uses pain clinics for dope. she's an R.N. and knows how to manipulate the system. i've lost all hope of her recovering. in 1985 i lost my very best gf to this disease. i was scarred emotionally by her suicide. now i'm watching another good friend do the same. so sad for her, her family and me. can do nothing but hope for a miracle. i am so grateful it happened to me/miracle and i chose to get sober 20 years ago. my life has changed and i am amazed at the good things that occur daily in my life.
thanks for listening.