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I am so sorry for everything that you are going through. This cloud may have a silver lining; both of you may take this experience and learn better communication skills and a healthier relationship may develop.
It bothers me that he didn’t come clean, and that when you found out on your own what happened he’s placing a lot of blame on the woman (in my opinion). We all must take responsibility for our own actions. It doesn’t sound like he is doing that, until he does trust can never grow again. Good luck to you both.
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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