Hi all (and to those I don't know). It's been a long while since I've been in - i find I get too triggered with this forum. BUT! I wanted to post this...
A few weeks ago i told T about (one of) my 'tools' and how I was nervous and shocked with myself for bringing it from my old home into my new home. It was very dangerous and I swore I'd not do it (I had moved it in several months ago and had already used it again). T said "you will bring it to me tomorrow". I broke down crying - we never spoke of it again, nor did i bring it to her.
Until today.
I know this month isn't ever easy on me and so I decided to turn it in. Esp as I was feeling sui last night. I didn't tell her about it until the end, not really sure I'd be able to. But I brought up the former conversation, told her I'd brought it, told her i wasn't sure i was ready... and the minutes hung there. But she reminded me that it was my higher self knowledge doing this for my best interests, assured me that it is still mine; she is simply holding it safe for me (and safe from me), and that when it is ready i can take it back. She also showed me where she put it for safe keeping. It was really quite surreal... But I do feel lighter. Of course there are other tools, and of course it is always my decision to act or not act on the urges. But i feel lighter with that gone from here.