Hello costello,
The one thing I consistently hear through your words is that you're worn out. Your son moved back home with you in November. It's now January. You've been at this for 6 - 8 weeks and it's wearing you down. The caregiving role is a tiring one.
You may find it somewhat reassuring to know that in spite of my own experience, in spite of my own insights, in spite of all my conversations over the years and all my reading and research, I found it to be immensely challenging at times too. I think I handled some parts quite well. Other parts... not so well.
Caregivers require their own Support Teams. One of the best forms of support can come from peers. In your case, that means other parents who are attempting to make use of alternative methods as a means of dealing with their child's crises. The online environment can often be very helpful in this regard however I'd also strongly encourage you to seek out people within your local environment who can also serve as forms of Professional, Peer or Mentor support.
It may be worth pursuing to see if there is an alternative association in your area such as the Hearing Voices Network or Mind Freedom. Don't, however, overlook more traditional forms of support such as NAMI. You can't predict when someone will pass a piece of useful information to you or where it will come from. My own approach has been to make use of that which was helpful and discard that which wasn't.
Meantime, in one of our earlier conversations I'd introduced this pencil sketch:
Ego Deflation = Depression
Ego Inflation = Mania
Ego Fragmentation = Psychosis
Each of those ego states brings their own set of specific challenges, both to the caregiver and to the individual in crisis. One of the unique difficulties of mania are that: a.) The ego is still very much present, and b.) the individual has an abundance of energy. It's very difficult to meet this energy level with a corresponding force that might be capable of helping to contain and channel it.
There are different ways of containing this energy. For some people, mania can be a tremendous opportunity to give themselves entirely to a creative endeavour. Your son's love of music might be one possible container for this energy. Other people might be able to contain this energy through activities such as exercise, cleaning, love-making, work, etc. The fact that your son might be dancing... I don't think this is such a bad thing. He's using up the energy. Provided he isn't hurting himself or anyone else, I don't view this as such a bad thing.
As a possible suggestion, you might find it helpful to participate in the Bipolar topic as well as this one because there, you'll find many people who are familiar with the energetic state of mania. They are the experts in those states and they are the ones who can probably provide you with the most insight into that particular state and ideas/suggestions to effectively contain and channel it.
In my own research and reading, I think there are also insights to be found in Jung's concept of the Shadow. It seems to me that mania can sometimes be an expression of Shadow possession, with the potential for both positive and negative expressions. In the same vein, it seems to me that states that we think of as expressions of grandiosity or delusion are, in fact, a form of compensation whose intent is to address those areas in the psyche where people do not feel capable, confident, worthy.
It also sounds to me as if your location out of town is serving in some capacity as a container that might help to settle and contain the energy. Note how your son's energy was stirred up by the trips into town.
Nature is a good container. One idea that might work for you and your son is when his energy builds to a certain degree... go for a walk. Get outside. Get him chopping wood or building a fire or shovelling snow. Make use of the tools that are around you and within reach.
Time constraints prevent me from adding anything further at the moment but I expect to have a bit more time through the weekend and will come back to suggest more ideas, suggestions and perspectives that might be helpful.
In the interim... unless your son is distressed or at risk, I suggest you let him do his thing. As you noted the other night, what we might see on the surface is not always a good indicator of what is churning beneath. He may be working some things through in his own way.
I would also urge you to start putting your own Support Team together. You cannot do this on your own. You will burn out. You're burning out now. Many an individual ends up in a hospital -- not necessarily because they need to be there -- but because their caregivers have reached a burnout stage.
To that end, rest or sleep when you can. Add a multivitamin to your mix. Eat as well as you can afford. Let go of anything that is not a priority. Be kind to yourself so that you will have the sustenance and endurance necessary to provide the care you want to provide.
~ Namaste