My name is tim,

I am 31, and life kinda never realy moved forward for me, (rather i did notmove it forward), it more zigs and zags.

I hate myself, for a multitude of reasons. All of which if someone where telling 'you,' about 'me.' Likely you would advise this person not to engage in conversation with me.

As such, I hide.

I hide who i am behind my portrayed self image.

At this point I hardly know who I am, if at all.

I find most things pointless. even those things that once meant everything to me.

These days with recent difficult events, the weight bares down heavy.

My biggest reason for never seeking treatment, ever. Is becaus eof the embarassment that everyone would feel around me.. and I am at times reminded, by me, and sometimes others, of the embarassment I have become.

As my brother says "well, it is what it is."

I embarass myself enough to where, it doesn't bother me anymore.

I find it funny, I consider myself fat, but not obese... yet the quiz on here stated so with the bmi thing.

I dont have an eating disorder.. depression just takes excersize out of the equation. so minus breaking rocks at work.. (when I can.. a long story).. i dont excersize.. i sleep too litle or too much..

well I am a mess.

tim