I don't know much about DBT but in this situation I think the best plan is to give your friend the money that you have, apologize and explain honestly (<-- keyword) why you don't have the rest. Offer the friend a new deadline to return the money that you know you can keep, and offer to pay interest or do some favors (run a few errands, pick up their kids, help prepare for a dinner party, watch their dog while they are out of town, whatever it is they would see fit).
This must be a really difficult situation. I think I would be anxious about it also. Just be honest and do what you can to rectify the situation. And also let your other friend know that honesty is
still always the best policy!
Quote:
Originally Posted by zooropa
ok. Here's the situation: I borrowed some money from a friend. I told her I would pay her back this week, only now I don't have it. I have a little less than half, actually.
So. I don't know how to tell her. I'm really really scared that she's going to be really angry.
Someone I talked to about it said to lie, to make something up, but...that's not how I'm trying to live my life, you know? Plus I'm not a very good liar, lol.
But really. My friend is coming over tomorrow for her money. I am at a loss and I KNOW the DBT interpersonal effectiveness skills would really help this situation, but I can't think what to say.
I want to ask my T, and I might call her in the morning, but my friend is coming at 10 am and I don't know for sure if I will get to talk to T before then.
So. Please. Help me figure out how to do this. I want to be honest and I want to preserve the relationship. So I guess, to put it in DBT terms, if I prioritize relationship/objective/self-respect, I would put relationship first and self-respect second.
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