I don't know if that is exactly what I mean but it is the best I can come up with at the moment.

Have been slowly slipping into a pretty severe depression for a while which resulted in one hell of a crash. Have been fighting for quite some time just to breathe and keep myself alive. But right now I am not feeling all that terribly depressed. More numb. I don't know ig this is the post depression numb or not. Maybe I am starting to work my way out of it and I am just in self protection mode so I am numb to anything. Or maybe I am so deep in a depression that I can't feel anything any more.

Don't get me wrong. Right now I am totally ok with the supreme numbness. I usually don't like it but considering where my mind has been lately it is a nice change of pace.

I guess I just wonder if anyone else experiences this and maybe has some insight