So exhausted.

I literally went and cried - sobbed - for an hour. I couldn't talk. Or, I tried to, but T kept having to ask "what did you say?" over and over.

Right when I walked in his office I saw something that triggered me - all of my shame, and self-loathing. I'm just a big pile of triggers today. It was awful. I guess if I have to sit somewhere and cry, T's office is a good place for it. But. Ugh.

He wrote me a note that said "I'm okay". He said I am not allowed to throw it away, because it's not okay to throw away the truth. He said I need to read it over and over whether or not I believe it.

I feel like I will NEVER feel better again, even though I know it's not true. I know feelings always change.

Today sucks.