Haven't slept well in the last two days. Yesterday I got deeply disturbed by something, and it triggered this terrible depressive feelings. All my good energy is gone, I'm mentally tired, physically sleepy, head ached, and beyond all these, I am feeling so alone...

It isn't the first time I feel lonely, have gone through it so many times, thought I had gotten a way of handling it, but now I see I not at all have a clue. It still hits me hard each time...

Not that I don't have friends around me, not that I don't have my significant one... but sometimes the feeling of being alone still comes to me, and it just comes so unexpectedly, jeeze, it really sucks...

Telling myself to hold on, bear it no matter what... But it is just hard... I'm feeling like maybe it's better to sleep it off, but there is this terrible stiffness around my neck troubles my sleeping...

Feel so hard to be awake at time like this. Wanna to find a quicker way to get over it, but the point is what is the way? But ironically, I actually am BEARING it when I feel I can't, right??

When time like this, I also feel like the whole world is against me, nobody really likes me, I am of no value of any sort... I wonder if everybody goes through time like this, and how do you handle it? If two lonely people stay together, doesn't it mean no one will be lonely any more??

I'm just feeling terribly terrible... ... Sorry for the whinning...

Thanks for listening...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone!!

Best,
Toni

[i] What our mind can conceive and believe, it will achieve.