I only do direct communication. If someone around me only does the "under the table" communication I avoid them like the plague. These types of people give me the creeps. Why? Because I grew up in a dysfunctional family where there wasn't any direct communication and I left that behind and made a nice life for myself where no harmful dysfunctional people are welcome.

Just think about all the time that this man is taking away from you? It seems like you are spending a lot of time thinking about what might be going on. That would drive me absolutely crazy.