SlatkaMala
boy can I ever relate to your frustration in beginning therapy!

I read some of the posts here and the ones that said about YOU taking the lead can be healing,(instead of letting everyone else lead you) might be of help to you-- but... with that said....
I personally found that approach VERY triggering... that's ALL I EVER had my whole life--everyone depended on ME to take the lead... I was not EVER EVER the one to falter, explode or self destruct... everyone leaned on me while the lives around fell apart due to their alcohol, drug use or impulsive behaviors.
I was so alone-- leading. and yet I had no one to trust- to take the lead so I lead until I dropped with mental and physical exhaustion.

I don't know how you are-- but-- if you're from a place I come from-- taking the lead is what has always been expected. and it feels so so alone. anxiety shoots through the roof! and taking the lead has been what has messed up my whole life -- all my life. (imagine a two, three year old having to know what's best for themself and dealing alone with consequences) Because of so much dysfunction-- I didn't even know HOW to lead and yet I had to. what a mess I made! ..... *sigh*....

I left a therapist that was like -- no suggestions-- just- "well, what do you think, fins"... Are you kidding me?? my thinking is the VERY thing that steered the boat into the hurricane in the first place-- and you ask me what I think?? (I think I lacked enough insight... one of the down falls of too much dissociation) that didn't feel like any kind of help I could benefit from..... ... so I left that T. after 3 years of struggling ..... (not that you should leave your T.-- things could turn out differently for you)

I'm with a T. now that offers "healthy" suggestions... ones that, due to such HUGE neglect with the child's inexperienced brain-- I've had little ability to form for myself.
sometimes it can be detrimental to leave one steering the boat... without a compass or chart....... some of us start from THE VERY beginning and need those suggestions.

hope this helped for you to know you're not alone in your frustration.

best to you and keep us posted on how things go... hope it turns for the better with this T.

fins