Thanks, s_e. My support is very thin. I'm a loner by nature. And the people I have in my life right now don't agree with my decision to ignore medical advice unless and until my son decides to go the medication route. I guess I'll have to go outside my comfort zone and try to recruit a "team."

I was so exhausted last night that I was willing to throw in the towel and try to coerce him into medication. I had to remind myself that that hasn't worked in the past. That's why I'm trying this different tactic.

I did sleep last night - after taking a dose of cold medicine. I had a headache and stomache ache and no appetite (I thought I was going to vomit when I started to eat dinner). Thought it was the flu, but now I think it was stress and exhaustion. I feel loads better today. He did wake me up at 11:30 pm asking to use my car so he could drive to a friend's house an hour away. I said no, hid my keys, and fell back to sleep.

I realized today that he deliberately put himself into that manic state last night. He bought an energy booster at a gas station a couple of days ago (5-hour energy, it's called). I stopped him from drinking it, because it's caffeine and he's exquisitely sensitive to caffeine. I should have thrown the bottle away though. I saw him trying to drink it in the car yesterday and stopped him again. This morning I noticed the bottle was empty. He admitted he drank it last night hoping to get the mania I witnessed last night.

It did seem to me that he was courting the mania yesterday evening. I asked him if was even going to try to calm down (this was before I realized he'd had the caffeine). He said, no, he wanted to stay up all night and bounce off the walls. (Ok, I paraphrased that, but he admitted he wanted to be manic. )

We went for a long walk in the woods and along a stream today. I think it wore him out. His case manager is worried about him getting too much exercise with how much weight he's lost recently. I don't agree. I think exercise is good for working up an appetite, and in fact as soon as we got home he fixed himself some lunch. A good sign since he eats very seldom and very little.