Thank you so much Must Keep Job and Leed, for your responses. It means a lot to me to feel that someone hears (or reads) me. I stopped anti-depressants a couple of years ago, after 20 plus years of trying just about everything, tricyclics, MAOI's, SSRI's. I'd get temporary partial benefit with some, and no effect at all with others. I know there are some new ones out, and after going to the ER in near panic 2 days ago, I called my Tdoc about being seen right away. I'll see him tomorrow a.m. and discuss any anti-depressants I may not have tried. He's talked about atypical antipsychotic meds, abilify in particular. But, I'm scared to death of developing tardive dyskinesia, convinced that I'd be one of the lucky 3% that do. I feel slightly more functional today, because I took part of a capsule of vyvanse, a stimulant for ADD. I often don't take it because it worsens my insomnia, and I then need to take more sleep aids at night. What a shell game it is. I'm still in weekly therapy. But I feel I'm just saying the same things over and over. But, still there's support there. Thanks again for your support and concern, and excuse my verbosity.