TJ, As a 59 yr old BP Mom, of sons age 39 and 29, I would suggest that you find a therapist who specializes in this disorder. If your Mother will allow you to speak with her therapist, so much the better. If not, find a therapist on your own. Never give up. Your Mother has probably suffered much pain,fear, and grief. She's been very afraid--and has probably been sexually and emotionally abused as a child. It is NOT up to you to "forgive" her of the pain she inflicted on you. It is "Mankinds" hope that you will understand and feel her pain, terror, and confusion.

I NEVER ONCE did NOT love my sons. I simply, in my great fear of being rejected--again--could not accept their love, simply--without their "proving it to me....

And that "Absolute Thing" The "Noble, Righteous' thing"? The Black/White Thing? It is a perfectionists way of trying to making sense of an imperfect, fearful world, by a an imperfect, fearful, insecure, person--and aren't we all like that at some point?

Relax, take a deep breath, love your Mother, let the god's lead the way,
always know that your Mom loves you, become educated, be patient, and somehow it will all work out.

Hello all... my name is TJ. I'm looking for help to understand my mother who shows some signs of BPD. I realize this board is for people "with" BPD-- is there a thread or a place here at PsychCentral for family members who show signs of having BPD parents? This is a completely new concept to me. I was just introduced to this disorder yesterday so I'm trying to learn what it is to then figure out if this is what my mother is dealing with. I'm hoping you can help me...

Thank you so much-
TJ[/QUOTE]