Thank you Lorna and Chrysalis - good advice to remember to take care of ourselves. I initially dove back into Buddhism to try to deal with my anger and remind myself that it was my attachment to wanting things to be the way they were, when it's really all an illusion anyway, that made me so upset. Then I decided I needed to start meditating again, then that I needed to get back into yoga and rejoin the gym. Now, four months later the yoga and gym are only sort of sticking. And ice cream keeps following me home...at least I am getting more of my school work done (I am a very late blooming PhD student) though not as much as I would like.

Chrysalis I totally relate to feeling completely irritated at times, like when he says, "I hope I made the bed right, I just don't trust myself these days." I just can't believe it! We've been making the bed the exact same way for how many years now??? Sometimes he just really gets on my last nerve.

Then other times he seems so vulnerable I just want to hug him and just in the last week or so we've even shared a joke - but he still won't even kiss me on the cheek - where is the black hole that our spouses disappear down into???

I hope your partner finds the desire to try harder to get well. I know I'll stay with my husband as long as he's willing to try b/c I really do still love him. I am so sorry that she isn't trying harder right now. It must be so difficult for you and for your son.

SS